Schm3ckydumoss Predicts

You know who else liked aliens?

In the future we will have a new enemy. Aliens!

Outer Space Aliens!

You watch, when everyone finally realizes that we are all just humans, then the powers that be will start collecting money to fight the, "Evil Reptilians," or the, "Greys What Wanna' Anal Probe You." 

There are already so many believers that it will be easy.

Government Official: So, remember that, "Roswell," stuff?

Yeah, it was real. We didn't want to scare anyone so we tried to keep it to ourselves. But all you really smart UFO hunter folk kept us on our toes. We worked tirelessly just to stay one step ahead of you. I, for one, am very happy to be able to commend all of you now for your courage and drive to find the truth. And here it is. 

The Aliens want to eat us all and take over The Earth!

We need all of your money to fight this menace. The future of the planet depends on it.


   ~schm3cky~

5 Reasons I am a Better Pedestrian Than You

 1. When crossing at a signal where cars are turning, I don't start crossing if the, "Don't walk" signal is on unless there are no cars.

 2. If by slowing down or speeding up I can help facilitate traffic, both vehicular and pedestrian, I will.

walkinginfo

 3. When in heavy foot traffic I am aware of others behind me and try to get out of the way if I am unsure or undecided on where I am going.

bostonbiker

4. I pass oncoming foot traffic to the right and overtake people on the left.

punchstock

5. I remember, sometimes I'm in a car...

paulapriamosreeway

or on a bike.

cyclelicio

   ~schm3cky~

2011: The Year of The Revolutions

I am very excited for the people of 

North Africa and The Middle East.

I believe that 2011 will got down as, 

"The Year of The Revolutions."

There is a "Map of the Protests" and you can follow it on 

google Earth.

According to The Guardian,  

Gaddafi may be on the run. 

Two Libyan jet fighters landed in Malta and the pilots claimed they were ordered to bomb protesters.
Also...

A Sunni cleric has called for a Fatwa on Gaddafi, 

according to reports at AGI and many other sources. 

   ~schm3cky~

Egypt Ejects Mubarak

http://www.guardian.co.uk/

Congratulations Egyptians!

   ~schm3cky~

Apparently, The Revolution WILL be Televised.

And Whitey's No Longer on The Moon.


  ~schm3cky~

Seriously,
02/10/2011 and I'm watching history unfold in Egypt.
Hosni Mubarak is about to step down, maybe.

The View From My Computer

It's 11:20 AM here in Berkeley.
I will update as I see fit.

~schm3cky~

Ready to Share My Wisdom
Wisdom, I has it.

Let's start with, "The Chicken and The Egg".
This one is easy.
The Egg came first. You can't have a chicken without an egg, but you can get an egg without a chicken.
Anything that comes from an egg needs the egg first.
An egg formed from some primordial ooze.
Mmmmm, Primordial ooze.
Good name for a band?
Their first album would be called, "Egg".
Second album - "Chicken"
Third album - "Egg II"
Then the band breaks up and forms splinter groups.
"Flock of Chickens"
"Egg Salad Sammich" (ESS).
 And
"The Chicks"
            ~schm3cky~

3 New Words For 2011 by schm3cky

Awfsome - Something so awful it's awesome. Example What happened to This Picasso, "Le Reve" in Vegas, could not stay in Vegas. I know what's on her mind.

The Short Version
"Wynn stepped away from the painting, and there, smack in the middle of Marie-Therese Walter's plump and allegedly-erotic forearm, was a black hole the size of a silver dollar - or, to be more exactly, the size of the tip of Steve Wynn's elbow"
Yep, That Steve Wynn 

Grabbage - It's stuff you put on the street for others to grab and it's not garbage. Example

Mutiful - A horrible singer that is beautiful.

 

    ~schm3cky~

The Bechdel Test


Have you ever heard of it?
It's for movies and it goes like this...

• Are there at least two women? (A variation requires they have names)
• Do they talk to each other?
• About something other than a man or men?

It's amazing how many movies don't pass.
Here is the opening scene for my screenplay.


Mary Lee Davis is walking to the coffee shop.
She sees an old friend from school, Nancy Ann Williamson.
Mary: Nancy! I haven't seen you is so long!
Nancy: Mary! So good to see you! Let's grab a cup of coffee and talk.
Mary: Sure, What do you want to talk about?
Nancy: Anything but a man.
Mary: Or men!
Nancy: Amen!
Both: Hahahahahaha!
   ~schm3cky~

5 Reasons

I'm a Better Driver Than You

1. I Don't Tailgate. 
   Count three Mississippi  when the car you're following passes an object.
   If you pass the same object before the three count, you're too close.

2. I Don't Impede Traffic. 
   If someone is driving faster than me, I get out of the way. 

3. I Slow Down When it Rains and Give Even More Room.

4. I Don't Act as Though I'm the Only One Picking Someone Up at the BART Station.

5. I Don't Talk or Text on the Phone, Play Trumpet, Put on Make Up, Shave, Read, Write, Watch RT.V., Sleep or Have Out of Body Experiences When I'm Driving.
   ~schm3cky~

Easy Way to Name Your Band


Random Wikipedia articles generate better band names than many people can. Watch...(I go to wikipedia and hit random article)

F.I.R.E. (Fully Integrated Robotised Engine) ha!
Pronounced "Ef eye ari".
   ~schm3cky~ 

Don't Name Your Band That

Seriously, Talk to me first. I could have saved your band a lot of trouble, "Tasters Choice". I'm not sure, but I bet there is or was a band by that name. I will google it now...Ha ha, I knew it!

Tasters Choice  They did change their name to "Tasters", but that's not much better.  Here I go.  They're from Italy so I'm thinking...

Ladies and Gentleman! All the way from Italy to break it off it your ass.                                Will you welcome...

BOOT! 

   ~schm3cky~